no blue ribbons
by she who flies
Summary: prompt: Zack gets his hands on a genderswitch materia and uses it on Cloud. And then he gives her to Sephiroth. With a blue ribbon. ...I couldn't work the blue ribbon in. Seph/Cloud, hints of Zack/Cloud


**title:** no blue ribbons

**prompt: **Zack gets his hands on a genderswitch materia and uses it on Cloud. And then he gives her to Sephiroth. With a blue ribbon. (...I couldn't work the blue ribbon in. *fail*)

* * *

The Science Department somethimes seemed like a cesspit of really weird shit. Seriously, they came up with useful things, no doubt about it – though it was sometimes just a little weird.

Like that Gold Watch with materia slots – the only people who could use so much materia were those who had really trained for it, which usually meant warriors, who'd usually prefer armor. And the watch was too expensive, which meant using it when off-duty and wearing civvies was out of the question. The only thing the damn watch was useful for was formal events, and the only people with enough money and power to use the thing were top SOLDIERs. But all in all, it was something with a practical application.

Well, Zack supposed _this_ had a practical application too. He just couldn't believe someone would actually defend the necessity of it, make a thesis on the thing, and then spend all the time and money necessary to get such a project off the ground.

After all, who could possibly be that crazy about changing someone's gender, to the point of fusing a materia especially for that purpose?

He hadn't believed it when he first heard about it. Then Kunsel got one instead of his issued Ice, and instead of giving it back, for some reason he decided to give it to _Zack_. Who hadn't been very impressed. But Kunsel had insisted. Being all, "I'm sure you can find a use for it."

And Zack had still been contemplating those words when Cloud passed by – all blond and blue eyed and tiny and slender and _pretty_, prettier than a lot of girls Zack saw around. Then Zack did a double take.

Therefore, what it all came down to in the end was that Cloud's current predicament was all some random scientist's fault. That or it was all Kunsel's fault; Zack wasn't entirely convinced the he'd gotten the wrong materia by accident. But really, what else was Zack supposed to do with it?

* * *

All in all, Cloud thought he was taking it all rather well. Suddenly being a girl would be enough to make anyone yell at the culprit, wouldn't it? And threaten to disembowel him if he didn't change you back, well, that is also a completely normal reaction when the culprit looks so shifty. As for actually trying to disembowel him, with a blunt practice sword of all things… who wouldn't, when he goes and tells you he _can't change you back?

* * *

_

"I know, I know," Zack wheezes, out of breath after laughing so much and dodging Cloud all over the gym – damn the girl is fast, even though her hits hurt even less than they usually would – "You can ask Seph for help!"

Cloud freezes, her even-more-delicate-than-usual features shocked, _huge_ blue eyes going wide, and Zack doubles over laughing. Which he probably shouldn't have done, because it allows her to whack him over the head, but she isn't used to her strength and her hit is even weaker than she'd meant it to be, so he isn't about to regret it.

"Za—Zack! You can't be serious— To bother the General with— To let him _see me_ like—" and her voice is so priceless, high and breathy and it does weird things to Zack's belly, so honestly, it's much safer to double over again and laugh some more. Which he really shouldn't have done, because this time she hits him mercilessly, on the stomach, and that knocks the breath out of him, and then he has to spend a minute getting it back.

"No, I'm being serious," he says when he's okay again, with his most earnest voice, catching her eyes with his, doing his very best to convince her: he'll never forgive himself for allowing this opportunity to pass by, if Cloud goes back to normal and Sephiroth still hasn't seen the _ridiculously hot_ girl his boyfriend turned into. "Seph's much better with magic than I am, he'll know how to change you back for sure. Besides," he checks his watch, "I'm already running late for a mission. And I can't stay for much longer. I really am sorry, Cloud," and he makes sure his voice is apologetic now, "I was just curious, and I thought another dose of the first level spell would turn you back for sure. But if all it needs is the second level spell, Seph can get you a mastered one of these, no problem!"

She looks long and hard at him, and for a moment he thinks she'll see he's bluffing, but then she sighs and gives into his pleading eyes. "I can't believe the things you get me into," she grumbles. "Alright, alright. I'll ask him for help. But you owe me _big_ for this."

Zack perks up immediately. And Sephiroth, he doesn't say, owes _him_ big for this. His biggest regret is that he won't get to watch.

Then again, doesn't the General's office have cameras…?


End file.
